"Who steals my purse steals trash"

Shakespeare said it best.

I got up this morning and realized I'd better finally throw down.

So I did.

Welcome to my world. Here is the aerial view:



The bag is a Kate Spade...



...but don't get excited. I bought it for a dollar at a tag sale. I just noticed today there's a strap hanging by a thread.

And I'm overdue for the fall look.

Center stage are things that actually belong in my bag: old wallet, good wallet, and brass card case from my sister-in-law Rebecca.



Missing as usual: my sunglasses (because perched on my head), my phone (holstered snugly on my hip...oh, okay, forgotten again on the mantelpiece or microwave, or plugged into my car charger and, again, forgotten).

Among the flotsam are gel pens in green and purple for grading papers, the dry erase pen for drawing on the board, a Metro pass and bus transfer, and orange flyer from the Halloween festival at Butler's Farm (went on Sunday).

Things other people place in my bag: A crumpled paper towel, probably with chocolate on it. An empty film canister, which I now use for change. Enough acorns to satisfy the most power-hungry squirrel. Enough oak and maple seedlings to retree all of DC.

Tiny pink beads, either for stringing or for grinding into the carpet, whichever comes first.

Keys to the PTA's storage area.

What am I, an all-purpose hamper?



(Um, ye-aah).

Oh, the book is mine, though. Well, it's my friend Anne's. When the Emperor Was Divine, by Julie Otsuka.

Plus, three necessities: lipstick, lipstick, and mascara (disclaimer, there is actually more lipstick in my purse, not pictured).

Matches from a recent quick meal at Austin Grill, the country's only wind-powered restaurant.

And plans for next year: real estate guy's card.



(No, I'm not leaving my husband for him. We're leaving together for parts more suburban).

categories: amusement home life miscellany