Monday, February 27, 2006

Devotion

In the eighties I worked at The National Trust for Historic Preservation. It was, for reasons large and small, my favorite job ever, and remains so.

At one point I worked in a little office all to myself that had belonged to the building manager, Charles Rotchford. He was an old New Englander, one of the most gracious men I ever met, probably somewhere in his sixties, with a shock of white hair and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses you could see coming around the corner.

He moved from his nice secluded office in the basement to a less nice one--and he ought to know, since he essentially designed the rearrangement. Through the office wall, I could often hear him on the phone.

His wife called every day at lunch, or if she didn't call, he called her. And dutifully, for about five or six minutes, he would tell her what he'd had for lunch.

It was the most banal conversation I ever heard in my life.

But it filled me--fills me--with envy. When I was young, I envied the obvious endurance of such love that one would care to tell (and one to hear) what lunch had been that day.

Now that I have experienced marriage, and life, and the range of human decisions about love, what I envy is the character, the integrity, the endurance of care.

Young, I felt they'd been lucky to find such love.

Older, I know they were lucky to have the stamina to keep it alive.

["The Linden Tree," image by Nicholas Durnan]

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Meta-Meme


One out of four people has some sort of mental illness.


Think of your three best friends.



If they're OK, then it's you.







[via Riannan]

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Poetry Thursday: Maya Angelou

for Mona (do great today! :-)









I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings


A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Cathexis.

I'm thinking, wouldn't that just be an absolutely great name for a band? Waaaay better than Oasis.

No offense.

I'm just saying.



[Image: Andy Goldsworthy's "Rocks" via Clara Lieu. Word choice via
Anonymous]

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sunday Philosophy

The words Guru, Swami, Super Swami, Master, Teacher, Murshid, Yogi, Priest,

most of those sporting such a title are
just peacocks.

The litmus test is:
hold them upside down over a cliff for a few hours.
If they don't wet their pants

maybe you found a real
one.

--KABIR

(translated by Daniel Ladinsky, from "Love Poems From God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West")

[most current entry from Fun Things To Do in DC, with its wonderful address, http://dclagniappe.blogspot.com/]

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Where in the World is Lisa Schamess?

I'm around.

A lot of the energy is going here, these days, to my American Literature class.

We're deep into Huckleberry Finn now, the crucial Chapters 14-17 if you are counting.

Lemme try a little test out on you. I am having thoughts about slapping up two pictures of Frederick Douglass and Walt Whitman:



Separated at birth?

The connotations of which question, in context, are quite American indeed.

Or are these only American questions?

Monday, February 13, 2006

Valentine's Day Poem

Credo
by Matthew Rohrer












I believe there is something else

entirely going on but no single
person can ever know it,
so we fall in love.

It could also be true that what we use
everyday to open cans was something
much nobler, that we'll never recognize.

I believe the woman sleeping beside me
doesn't care about what's going on
outside, and her body is warm
with trust

which is a great beginning.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Poetry Thursday: Langston Hughes

Theme for English B
by Langston Hughes

The instructor said,
Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you---
Then, it will be true.
I wonder if it's that simple?
I am twenty-two, colored, born in Winston-Salem.
I went to school there, then Durham, then here
to this college on the hill above Harlem.
I am the only colored student in my class.
The steps from the hill lead down into Harlem
through a park, then I cross St. Nicholas,
Eighth Avenue, Seventh, and I come to the Y,
the Harlem Branch Y, where I take the elevator
up to my room, sit down, and write this page:

It's not easy to know what is true for you or me
at twenty-two, my age. But I guess I'm what
I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me---we two---you, me, talk on this page.
(I hear New York too.) Me---who?
Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life.
I like a pipe for a Christmas present,
or records---Bessie, bop, or Bach.
I guess being colored doesn't make me NOT like
the same things other folks like who are other races.
So will my page be colored that I write?
Being me, it will not be white.
But it will be
a part of you, instructor.
You are white---
yet a part of me, as I am a part of you.
That's American.
Sometimes perhaps you don't want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that's true!
As I learn from you,
I guess you learn from me---
although you're older---and white---
and somewhat more free.

This is my page for English B.

1951

(with a shout-out to the newest cool literary-plus-coffee venue in D.C., Andy Shallal's Busboys and Poets...make sure you have your sound on when you visit the site)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Mona's Choice

Mona is learning how to use the computer. She's intrigued by Google Image Search. This was my promise to her: choose a picture, and I'll post it. She chose this picture, resulting from the search string "Girls Regular Friends Hanging Out."

While we're at it, you can now check out the blog for my spring high school English class, The American Voice: Exploration.

So that's what I've been up to.

What's in a Meme?

I've been meaning for weeks to tease out some response to John's good-natured turn on the meme-wheel at Machina Memorialis and Riannan's inclusion of me on her tag list.

But it being me, you have to know I'll take a roundabout path.

I find other people's meme responses interesting, my own less so. I find memes, in themselves, riveting.

Oh okay. Interesting. I'll ratchet down the hyperbole a bit, though I am suffering from wrenching agonies over the construction in my house. I'm plumb tired, I'm coming unhinged.

Anyway.

What's the great attraction of these little lists? Are they all just in fun? Are they taking us from bad to worse? Or could we maybe, just maybe, use these little demontologies to get us somewhere?

You be da judge. My four (or maybe five) meme-y things to come on Friday.

Cause I'm busy tomorrow, and next there's Poetry Thursday. Prolly the best meme I spread all week.

[Sandy Skoglund installation courtesy of the lovely but apparently dead--sniff--blog, temporary.ca]

Remaindereds of the Day


A confluence of recent events will explain something more (than you asked) about my particular take on life.

My reading habits, budget, and space constraints make it incumbent upon me to sell my books and sometimes my music on half.com.

I don’t, as often, buy there (for reasons noted above, and then some). But when I do, I am notoriously cheap about it.

Besides which, I love nosing around in other people’s underlines (underlines, I said) and so I don’t mind buying in the Acceptable range.

Of a recent day, however, I had recourse to look for my own book among the Like News.

See, what had happened was, I finally hightailed it down to Fairfax County Circuit Court last week to be qualified as the executrix of my brother’s estate. Since I am an out of state resident—yes, living over the river in Washington, D.C., I am—I had to post a pretty big bond.

Rhymes with abscond.

And the guy who did the paperwork for that, a charming person named Greg Grimes, asked me for a signed copy of the book.

He’s kidding, I thought.

Then I got his bill a few days later, and there was a post-it attached reiterating the request.

He likes me! My bail bondsman likes me!

Well, I don’t have to tell you, dear reader, that when a man who holds a bond on you and knows where you live asks for a signed copy of your minor novel twice, you hop to.

Am I right?

So I looked high and low in our trashed, contractor-dusted house for the cache of shrinkwrapped Borrowed Lights I have been keeping for just such an occasion, and damned if I hadn’t already given them away.

I don’t remember being in court that often since 2002, but there you go.

So. I went to half.com. There I was able to purchase the book “Like New” for only half its original price. The comment from the seller was worth the price alone: “Read only once.”

On further digging, I found plenty of other copies available used on half.com and at Amazon (if you have to ask for the URL, it isn't Amazon). To a book, they are copies pulled from library shelves—a reverse peristalsis of the gleeful speculative consumption that took place in 2002, which I noted feverishly in many midnight hauntings just like this one. It’s still available new from Amazon, though it’s "on backorder" at my beloved Powell’s.

Barnes and Noble, my stalwart friend among the big retailers, still carries it, and as a bonus, they have an online excerpt I actually like. But I know it's only a matter of time.

I couldn’t help recalling the previous week, when I sold a gently worn copy of the wonderful Carolyn See’s wonderful Making a Literary Life. As always, I leafed through before shipping it, and something in the last chapter caught my eye.

The book’s gone to its new reader now, so I’ll surely mangle the quote, but it was something to this effect: that all of it, every last thing we do, the love affairs and books and busy activities, are just so many distractions and ways of passing the time until you die.

Yep, that’s Carolyn See. Bracing, funny, and brutally honest.

And that’s me, too, a lot of days—not always, of course, and haven’t always been. I keep it in check, at least out loud, at least in front of my daughter, about 90 percent of the time.

I hope.

If you want to read See for yourself, that vinegar-tonic voice, click here.

[interview with Carolyn See via the exquisite zinkville]

Monday, February 06, 2006

Businesslike Morning Thought

I woke up wondering, when you go to sell a house, is there a form you have to use to disclose the presence of a dead pet in your garden?

I'm all heart.

[spurious link via Dave Barry's blog]

Saturday, February 04, 2006

There Kitty Kitty


Underneath the feet of my stone Buddha now, in the garden, is Louisa.

But here she is a few months ago. See how lovely?

Did you know a 19-year-old cat is about 94 in people years?

I hope she had a good run of it. We adored her.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Poetry Thursday: Neruda Desnudo

Here is the entire poem by Pablo Neruda, which I excerpted for my own private purposes on Sunday.

There is more, much more to his words than the verses that served me. This is at once a love poem and a statement of what it is to truly take responsibility while alive.


The Dead Woman
by Pablo Neruda


If suddenly you do not exist,
if suddenly you no longer live,
I shall live on.

I do not dare,
I do not dare to write it,
if you die.

I shall live on.

For where a man has no voice,
there shall be my voice.

Where blacks are flogged and beaten,
I cannot be dead.
When my brothers go to prison
I shall go with them.

When victory,
not my victory,
but the great victory
comes,
even if I am dumb I must speak;
I shall see it coming even if I am blind.

No, forgive me.
If you no longer live,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you
have died,
all the leaves will fall on my breast,
it will rain on my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping,
but
I shall stay alive,
because above all things you wanted me
indomitable,
and, my love, because you know that I am not only a man
but all mankind.


Click here to hear Isabel Allende read her fellow Chilean's words.

And here to read a French writer's account of her visit to Neruda's beloved Isla Negra, off the coast of Chile.

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